June 27, 2016

the people that come and go into my life

Hey, how's there?

I grew up in a society where expressing feelings could be guilty, even its a very sincere one. On the other hand, the society that I lived in fair enough to be labelled as child-friendly. Years passed by and finally I am a legal grown-up (at least that what's a close friend of mine said). I have a family that love me, even through ups and downs. I also have nice friends, whom a bunch of them have known me since I was just that new kid in the town. Anyway, I'd love to make new friends but I just realize that only some of them who sticks until now (I'm actually a flexible person tho). I also have no problems with m extended family, even though I'm not to so close with all of them. By it, I can say that my life is actually pretty ordinary. 

During twenty-one year of my lifetime I have met many people accross the world with different culture, values, family background, etc. I know a blonde girl who grew up in a family of six, despite her culture are identic of adults who aren't interested with having kids, a boy who hold a Korean nationality but grew up in Europe until Germany, Sweden, and England become his home, a woman whom married a man that become a mu'alaf, an east Indonesian who strived for better education, and many more. They all came into my life in different phases and I realized that each of them taught me lesson about life. 


When I was 10, I used to hate the girl in my elementary school who seemed to be the alpha girl (I don't know even whether this word exist or not). She dominated everything, from academics through social life. She was also judged as the bosy girl, whom my friends and I dislike. I wasn't the one and only kid who used to hate her because she was that girl. As a chatous girl, I told my mum that I hate that girl and I want to scream in front of her about the things that I hate about her. My mum told me back to not hate her just because hating someone is toxic. In 2007, we started attending junior high but in different schools. I continued my education in a public school while she chose a boarding school. Years passed, and the days after high school graduation began. Since I wasn't accepted through the SNMPTN track, I had to take SBMPTN test which led to series of tiring days that were full of tutorials. A week before the tutorial began my mum told me that that girl was going to join the same tutorial that I attend. I was kinda surprised,"how could it be?". Long story short, I met that girl almost everyday for a month and half. Later I recognized that the I way I understand has changed. She also has become a more joyful person and we even shared the silly jokes during that time. Long story short, that girl and I are finally accepted in our dream schools in July 2013. Since that, I never meet her again. 


When I was 12, I had a crush on my friend. He is a nice guy and excels at academic (that typical dream guy). His physical appearence? So so, but a friend of mine told me that he's really into sport. I've seen his parents several times while picking him up and concluded that his face looked like his mother's. The universe conspired and later I know from a friend of mine that her mother is the kindergarten teacher of my first crush's little brother. Since a young age I recognized myself as the girl who loves art but sadly not good at natural science, so that I think my interest for guys who excel at natural science grow naturally. From the years of our friendship I learned that despite being leaning on his gift as a smart guy, my first crush is also a hardcore in learning who tries to make his life balance. My feeling toward him just faded away as time goes by (I already wrote that this is a puppy love, right?). 


When I was 15, my journey as a senior high school student began. During this wonderful time I met many people that are actually connected to each other. To me, the infinite connection of people era has just begun. Everyone special in their own way, including this inspiring alumnus. Let's call him Kak B. I met Kak B for the first time in 2011, when I was a committe of an art competition which was organized by a drawing club that I joined at school. On the same day when the competition was held, Kak B gave a talk about comic if I'm not mistaken. He introduced himself as an fellow alumnus class of 2008 and as an art teacher at an international school. I don't what convinced Kak B to be an art teacher even though he took landscape architecture for his undergraduate degree. Kak  B and I became friend virtually, just like how I befriend with my seniors whom I never meet at school but are often being talked. In 2013 Kak B and his friends initiated the Bogor Sketchers community. I was about to join it, but my path has changed since I'm going to continue my studies in Surabaya. The first months in Surabaya was a combination of joy, fear, and hope. I'm not going to lie that I actually faced some difficulties while adapting. There's always a feeling inside my heart that I really need to talk with Smansa kids while I'm having sort of weird feeling. On November 2013 I stressed out because of the reality that didn't meet my expectation about my passion. While in a kind of restless situation that made me keep thinking about a resign, I talked to several people that I thought might enlighten me, including Kak B. I felt much better after it. Then days, month, and years passed by. I'm living a stable life now. Soon after Year 2 has ended, I read a post that Kak B was going to move to China since he was placed in a new school. He's residing in China now with his little wonderful family. 

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." -Melody Beattie

And here I am, writing in my boarding room. I think that my life is actually not that ordinary. Instead, it's mozaic of experience, including the people that come go into my life. 


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